Google vs Theoretical Quantum Physics, round one...

I made a promise to myself when I stared this blog.  Nothing serious, it wasn't like I hooked my little fingers together and made a pinkie promise with myself.

Also, if there is ever a promise you never, ever back out of, it's a pinkie promise.  That is the most legit kind of promise out there.  You keep them, even if you're dying because a rock from space hit you in the spleen and you're dying from complications due to infection.  You keep that damn pinkie promise to pick up your little sister from soccer practice and you do it with a smile.

Back on subject, I promised I wouldn't do quantum physics- namely, I wouldn't do posts on quantum entanglement, or quantum teleportation.  For a few reasons, the first being that it is not nearly as cool as it sounds, and two, because it's been talked about to death.  Any and all awesome that it once contained has been bled out slow news day reporters (who are probably vampires in secret, have you seen how pale they look?) and people getting confused and thinking that it has anything to do with the LHC, or more commonly known as the black hole machine.

Point: It does sorta look like an entry portal for Cuthulu

But, I break all my (non-pinkie related) promises, so here is a very quick and dirty primer on quantum entanglement, so we can get to the good stuff.  Quantum entanglement is the synching up of electrons across how ever far they damn please.  After scientists have forced a pair of electrons to synch up, whatever they do to one electron is done to the other.  This is commonly tested with electron "spin".

Note: Spin isn't how the electron spins.  See why I didn't want to do a post on this?  Friggin' theoretical physicists can't name things for shit.  It's actually how the plar-- you don't need to know any of this to get it later.  Just remember that when scientists change the "spin" on one electron, the other one changes too.  Instantaneously.  No distance lag, no time lag.

Yeah, it really does make absolutely no goddamn sense.

Here is some artist's picture representation of it.  Note how this also makes no goddamn sense

"Spin" is a handy property because it only has two values.  We'll call those values 0 and 1.  You know what else uses 0's and 1's in everything it does?  Its a marvel of the modern world, ubiquitous on all continents including Antarctica.  Your using it right now, and it isn't an ingredient in jello roofies.

It's your computer- which does all the awesome things it does based on binary, which is a way to count that only uses 0 and 1.  See where I'm going yet?  If we were to build a computer out of quantum entanglement, we could get data to go even faster than it already does.  We're vaguely starting to see the limits of using electricity (which flows at the speed of light).  Quantum entanglement goes even faster than that.

Pictured: Superman being slower than quantum entanglement.  Because we can see him.

Why does any of this matter?  Because some guys recently figured out how to copy Google's search algorithm using quantum entanglement.  As you know, that algorithm was the reason why Google became the all-Father of the Internet, the great god that looms over us all and dispenses us with information and silly search histories if we ask nicely.  So, when (because who are we kidding if.  These are scientists we're talking about, they're damn crazy enough to get it working) the quantum net comes online, we'll already have the greatest search algorithm in place to view it.

And they're also Spanish.  You heard it here first- Spain is totally going to ransom off the new quantum net in a desperate bid to become a relevant country again.