Or they'll send me back to magic kindergarden...

First things first, sorry about yesterday.  The Internet still doesn't work at my house because I have made abosultly no move to try and fix it.  I blame the fact that my uncle gave me ALL THE BOOKS I EVER WANTED for Christmas, and I'm basically a bookoholic.  There is no middle ground for me, just like there is no "drinking for taste" for the drunk.

One sip/sentence, and we're fucked up beyond all reason.

George R.R. Martin is ruining my life

So, I'm crouching here, in my neighbor's fucking bushes with my netbook and my trusty 8 gb flash drive, hacking his WPA2 protected password to get on his wifi, and because I don't want to get caught in the act (not that he knows how, but one can never be to careful...) I'm also covering my tracks by pretending to be one of his own computers.  It's less tricky than it sounds, to be honest.

Because the Starks would love the current weather, and I don't have time to actually research a cool post, I'm going to go over the much easier task of hacking a WEP password using some cool programs anyone can download.

I give you power tonight.  Tonight you become men.

If reading isn't your thing, check the video version out.

To start, your hardware sucks and needs upgrading.  You'll need a wireless adapter that can inject packets, and the one that comes with your computer can't do that, Dave.  They're super cheap (some dude is selling his favorite brand of air-crack router for $12 on e-bay).  I recommend the Alfa AWUS036H, but There are tons of options out there.

Next, you'll need to boot to backtrack- which is a version of the Linux operating system.  You can create a boot CD, or install it on a flash drive, so you can use it without needing to isntall it on your system.Check here for how to do this, I'm getting really damn cold and don't feel like going into it.  Be warned, backtrack is based in UNIX, so you'll need to put your big boy pants on and handle a real operating system.

Now, after you boot into backtrack, open up the provided comand prompt, Konsole, and start typing in commands.  This is known as the fun part.  It's a 10 step process, so be warned- this shit is a bit advanced.  I have faith in none of you being retarded, however.  All in all, the thing you need most is patence.  And don't suck at typing.
To start, you'll want to type: airmon-ng

This should return a list of network interfaces.  Pick the shiny new you you just bought to break into people's wireless- and keep track of the name.  You'll want to use the name in palce of the (interface) tags for these next few lines:

airmon-ng stop (interface)
ifconfig (interface) down
macchanger --mac 00:11:22:33:44:55 (interface)
airmon-ng start (interface)

Conrats!  You now look like you are a new computer on the interface with the MAC address of 00:11:22:33:44:55.  MAC addresses are unique addresses given to each computer when they're manufactured.  They're hardware enforced, so you can't change yours after you get your PC, but you can pretend you have a different one (which is what you're doing now).

Time to pick a victim.  The next command is:
airodump-ng (interface)

This will return a list of the wireless networks around you.  Figure out which one you want to hack, then type:

airodump-ng -c (channel) -w (file name) --bssid (bssid) (interface)

(channel) is your network's channel, (file name) is something descriptive you can remember later, (bssid) is the BSSID of the network you want to hack and (interface) is the same as always.

Leave the result you get from that command be.  Open a new window and type:
aireplay-ng -1 0 -a (bssid) -h 00:11:22:33:44:55 -e (essid) (interface)

The new tag (essid) is the SSID of the network you want to crack.  This also should have been visible when you went hunting for a victim a few steps back.  What you've done, in a nutshell, is let yourself snoop on the network.  Now its time to generate a ton of traffic to create a crack to get you in for real.  Next step, type:
aireplay-ng -3 -b (bssid) -h 00:11:22:33:44:55 (interface)

Still with me? That's fantastic! What we've done here is generate extra router traffic to speed up the crack.  However, even with the extra traffic, this still takes about one forever.  Leave.  Get a sandwitch.  Go read a book.  You'll want to wait until #Data goes over 10k.  After that happens, open a third konsole window and type the last command:
aircrack-ng -b (bssid) (file name-01.cap)

If the coding gods are with you, you'll get a KEY FOUND message (if not, you'll need to collect more data.  Make another sandwitch or play Minecraft or something).   The WEP key will appear next to the KEY FOUND, just enter it in without the colons and congratulate yourself, you just broke into a wireless network.

DISCLAMER: Stealing and breaking and entering are bad.  My neighbor and I are very good friends, I wouldn't be breaking into his wireless if I wasn't sure he wouldn't really mind.   This is a handy trick if you ever forget your WEP key and don't want to have to reset everything to get it (maybe you share a network with other people and bringing the whole thing down would be very bad).

I'm off to bed... happy hacking!