The iPhone 5: The Paradox

I don't know if you were aware, but the iPhone 5 recently came out.

Yeah, I know.  It was really easy to miss, very much under the tech radar.  I mean, Apple fanboys (or I guess Apple fanpeople to be politically correct) were going batshit about it, but hell, they do that like every Tuesday anyway.  I'm fairly positive they'd go batshit over a new iDevice charger, for chrissakes.

My own opinions are pretty neutral.  I'm not a big fan of OS X (in any iteration), as it's pretty much Linux with a very unfortunate layer of junk on top.  The mobile operating system is pretty solid, but from a developer standpoint, Android has managed to attract more people willing to write cool things for it.  To be totally honest, I have very little idea why-- I've heard that its a lot easier to learn to write for iOS than it is for Android, but whatever.

Apple still overprices hardware harder than a used car salesman with a cocaine addiction.

... nuff said.

ED: I know that's my second cocaine joke in a while.  I spent a good five minutes trying to think of a good joke involving the word 'erection' but I couldn't do it.  Then I looked myself in the mirror and took a very, very long shower.  But I'll always feel dirty.  Forever.  I'm sorry.

Anyway, new iPhone.  It seems like its the same old iPhone, with some minor updates.  Like a larger screen, slightly louder speakers, being lighter, and a new connector (that'll render all your old connection cords).  So, you know, probably not worth shelling out $200 for.  But who the bloody heck am I kidding, if you were going to buy one, you have already.

I personally believe that cults have just modernized.  Drank basements and old churches are soooo the '90's man.  Apple stores are where it's at these days.

I mean, in any way you look at it, the phone is a success.  It's already breaking all kids of sales records, it has all kinds of glowing reviews and industry experts consider it the death of Apple as an innovative company.

Waaaaiiiiiiiit.  What about that last thing again?

Some experts think that Apple is actually slowing innovation all across the wireless market.

Slow down asshole.  I mean, its not like people think Apple's competitors are doing any bet--

No wait, they do think Google and Microsoft are being more innovative.

How can that possibly be?  Industry success = innovation, right?  We, as a consumer base, will kill for the newest gagety-techy-thing.  Didn't Nintendo prove this with the Wii?

And by my calculations... the answer is blue.  With a giraffe 

Clearly not. Why?  Great question.  I think it mainly comes down to the amount of people in the tech market these days.  Namely, everyone.  If the amount of people playing Angry Birds is any indication, than quite a lot of people have gotten smart phones.  This is a new technology for them, so minor increments do feel like world shattering innovation.

It won't last, of course.  The new guys'll get sick of it and start clamoring for true holographic displays, just like everyone else.